I’m 34. 7 months in and 5 months shy of 35, and I’m depressed. What am I doing with my life? This is a question I have been asking myself for nearly 10 years. I should have a degree. I should have a home. I should have 3 kids, a spouse and maybe some kind of exotic animal. Unfortunately, I have none of those things.
Here’s a synopsis of my life thus far; I am an original college dropout who suffers from serial procrastination. I have been in and out of Universities and/or community colleges within the past 9 years, majoring in everything from Psychology to Nuclear Medicine. I haven’t had a dream of “being” anything since I was 10. So as for what I wanted to be when I grew up…crickets.
“I have wasted the past 10 years of my life trying to figure out what I want to be, when in reality I don’t want to BE anything.”
What I want is to “do.” I want to do things, see things, go places, and create something. I was not created to BE anything; I already was who I was meant to be. That name on the birth certificate; that bubbling personality, charm and yes, the procrastinator. To be is to exist. Doing involves a sense of purpose. So as lame as it may sound I’m on a mission to achieve my life’s purpose. Just shy of turning 35 and I finally realized what I want to do with my life. Now let’s see if I can put the pieces together in less than 6 years, because I can’t do this shit again in my 40’s.