Is my womanhood measured by the length of my heels?

“I’m not the average girl from your video, and I ain’t built like a super model, but I learned to love myself unconditionally, because I am a queen.” ~India Arie~

Everything about me screams lady. I’m feminine. I’m beautiful. I have a smile to die for. But, I’m not into heels. I’m not into makeup. I wear my hair natural…I like to dress comfortable. This isn’t to say that I don’t carry myself like a lady, but I’m a far cry from your average fashionista. I had to define ladylike for myself, without the influence of the media and my peers.

“Figuring out my own agenda was vital so that I could know that I was in an alignment with my truth.”

At this moment in time, my definition of fashion is wearing what I love and feeling comfortable in what I have on.

When starting this platform, I explored the Internet for inspiration. I noticed a common trend…beautiful women who were dressed to impress; all deserving to be on the front covers of a magazine. I’ve never been the type of person to follow trends, especially when it came to clothing, but I found myself wondering if this was the only way to grow a loyal fan base. That thought quickly evaporated.

Fitting in has never been my thing. In high school I was a tomboy. I wasn’t apart of the popular girls who wore the long hair, heels, makeup, and the latest fashion from Forever 21. It was cute, don’t get me wrong, it just wasn’t for me. I imagined myself being the 4th person in the group, TLC. Back in the day, that’s exactly how I dressed. That wasn’t too appealing to the boys, or girls in high school. It didn’t earn me the right to be considered popular. Oh well.

Fast forward…so I’m realizing that all I can do is be myself. The type of clothing that I wear is a reflection of myself. Young, hip, and too cool for school. (haha). But seriously, I won’t be your average fashion queen, I wont always wear things that necessarily go together, you’ll hardly ever see me in makeup, and you may never see me wearing heels. What I can guarantee is authenticity.

“If I have it on, it’s because I love what I’m wearing. It won’t be inspired by the latest trend, unless it’s the latest trend inside my head.”

Ladies, have you ever been put in a situation where you felt like you had to look or dress a certain way in order to maintain a certain persona? For the ladies who have their own look, and refuse to have their wardrobe dictated by what’s hot in the media, I’d love to hear from you as well. When did you realize that you were different and embraced your truth?

What many people may not realize is that these feelings and thoughts can last well into adulthood. Peer pressure and social comparison doesn’t end in high school. For the ladies who are possibly having a hard time figuring out your own sense of style and look, just know that you’re beautiful just the way you are. Be true to yourself and the rest will fall into place.

Live happy and inspired!


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A Proud member of a club of grown, sexy, experienced, intelligent, strong, and independent women. Life at 30 has never been better!

6 thoughts on “Is my womanhood measured by the length of my heels?”

  1. I love this post! I can relate entirely!!!! My blog LADYHOOD is about being a lady in a male dominated and stereotypical world of what a woman is. I aim to challenge the way we think as women and to help younger generations to not make the same mistakes I have made.
    I would love for you to check it out and give me some feedback!
    Great Post!


  2. Such a positive & encouraging post; especially with consideration to the mixed messages one can get with all of the social media today. Honestly, I’ve never been one to follow trends and I’ve never quite fit in many social situations; there were many times where I was just a party of one. I never felt the need to out of pressure from anyone else but I really would not mind if I put in more effort myself to bring out my feminine side. On the other hand, I still am trying to learn how to love my bare skin & my thick & dense hair…but that’s all in time I suppose.

    ~ Authen


    1. Thank you lots Authen! It’s so hard not to follow the latest trends now days when thats all you see throughout all media whether it’s social media, magazines, or televisions. If it’s cute and you want it, thats one thing…but to buy and become someone you’re not in order to satisfy what society thinks is the RIGHT way, that’s something I refuse to fall victim to.

      There’s absolutely nothing wrong with putting forth effort to bring out the best you. It took me a little while to embrace my natural hair when it was loose natural. Now that it’s loc’d, I had to embrace the new look all over again. Love your bare skin and your beautiful thick & dense hair girl! That’s all apart of what makes you unique.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Ronisha,

        No problem; Thank you for this thoughtful reply. I agree, it is so easy to get tied up in what society says is in but then we have to stay true to ourselves or else we become lost. I really am struggling in how to manage all of my hair but I guess it comes with time and I have to find what really works for me. Thanks for the encouraging; I appreciate it!

        Have a blessed day!
        ~ Authen


  3. Speak! I have never fit in when it came to style. I always wanted to be an African American hippie with long locs but that wasn’t considered cool. I wanted to wear earth tones and sandals, loose comfortable clothing and wooden accessories. I still don’t like wearing shoes and tight clothing makes me cringe. I have learned to embrace my own style and I wear what I like and what makes me feel comfortable. I don’t care to fit in. Thanks for sharing! It will inspire many others to embrace their individualism.


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