Where to begin? There is so much to tell you! I’ll simply start by saying the journey to 30 has been interesting and I wouldn’t change it for world. I’ve learned so much, conquered many things and am who I am today because of this journey. I always get really weird about my birthday’s in general. It’s like I’m so grateful I made it but then it’s like oh no I’m a year older? Then I have the honor of remembering my deceased biological mom who’s birthday is the day after mine. Love you Mommy!! Muah!
However, I am all about women empowerment- no really? I’m not like those who scream it all through social media but have no fruit to back it up and or as catty as they come. Was that shady? Someone has got to say it, lol. I thought it would be really cool to share with you a few things I’ve learned through my journey in hopes to inspire and encourage you. Without further ado, Here we go!
Know Who you are:
It’s important to know who you are. What’s important to you, your morals, standards and your values. I have found out the hard way that the saying is true “if you stand for nothing you fall for anything.” In general we know these things but have you sat down and really defined them? Take the time to write it down and your why for each one.
“It’s your ‘why’ that will keep you from falling for anything and/or compromising.”
I have found myself in compromising situations all because I wasn’t clear on my why. Saying it or trying to do it because that’s what grandma did will not help you personally connect with your own individual why.
Self -Acceptance & Self –love:
I’ve always been the black sheep of my family and was never really able to fit in. For the longest, I couldn’t understand it. It felt as though I had “foreign” stamped on my forehead. Can you relate? No matter what anyone says everyone want to be accepted, loved by their peers, and acknowledged by those they deem important. What happens when you don’t get that… especially if your background or family life is one of abuse? I was able to come to terms through faith, lots of mirror work (it’s when you stand and look in the mirror while doing some specific exercises) and positive affirmations. Whew! It took some work, yes ma’am. Replacing old thoughts about yourself isn’t an easy task, but it can be done. The key is to honestly and truly accept your flaws and really understand your worth.
“Love yourself until you are blue in the face, honey! love the skin that you are in, make peace with the past, be present in your today, and be excited about your tomorrow.”
Once I was able to accept and love myself. I had to get to know myself all over again. We are ever evolving creatures who are always changing, because of this, we must consistently strive to learn, know, and trust ourselves. Doing this makes you feel even more comfortable in your own skin. I noticed that it immediately began to show up through expression the way I wore my hair, my clothes, my makeup, the places I wanted to go and the things I wanted to do. It was so freeing, can you say Namaste?
I am woman, hear me Roar:
Learning to overcome obstacles, ha ha. I feel as though trauma, obstacles and the weights of life and I have an understanding. I know that it sounds weird but it’s so true. When you go through enough you begin to recognize some things and patterns. Like the moment you realize you are experiencing similar things over and over like a machine rinse cycle that’s on repeat. This often signifies that you haven’t quite learned the lesson yet. How about our perspective, most challenges come to grow us up and stretch us. In that growing and stretching we create the solution. You see my friend because of this understanding I now process my feelings quicker and do not permit them to stay. I know I’ll need a clear head to see what’s going on. Am I to learn from this, grow from this, see what to do and what not to do or am I simply experiencing this to help someone else? Women are the bravest creatures ever, Girl Power! I mean who else you know wears so many hats, fulfilling many roles, overcome oppression, trauma , give birth all while calling the shots. I ran out of breathe just thinking it, whew!
Always mind your pearls:
Ladies wisdom is our bff, she like that wise friend who has much through some of everything and is always dropping knowledge. She helps us to be poised even when you want to let that person have it. She encourages us to overcome with grace and helps us to navigate through this thing called life. Boy oh boy, if I had the time to tell you how many times I have felt the fire of not given in to wisdom. Because of that I experienced unnecessary things and consequences that could have been avoided.
Now this one right here, this right here in my Katt Williams voice (lmbo) was a dusey my friend. Let’s start with friendships. sigh. I have learned that the recipe here is timing, clarity, and capacity. This recipe goes both ways, for us as well as the potential friend. What do I mean? I’m glad you asked. You see, timing is when we ask ourselves what kind of friendship this is? Is this a life long friendship or is this seasonal? Clarity is asking yourself what is this person here for? Am I supposed to pour into them? Are they to pour into me? Will it be mutually beneficial? Are they here in the disguise of friendship but really here to tear down and distract me? Have they been sent to help me along the way? Last is capacity. Ask yourself does this friend have the capacity to understand me and be there for me? If I am supposed to pour into the friend only, do I have the capacity to be okay with receiving nothing back.
See, I dropped the ball a lot here. A lot of women were placed in my path because my purpose attracted them. I would try to make a mutual beneficial friendship out of something that was specifically designed for me to pour into them, support them, assist them, and send them on once they were ready. This also signifies that it was seasonal. There I was trying to make it a lifetime. I had to learn quickly to be okay with pouring out and getting nothing in return and genuinely be okay with that. It’s called serving lol.
Now romantic relationships on the other hand can be a bit more tricky. I have learned not to communicate when I’m really angry, and to compromise and be willing to find a middle ground. However, communication and clarity is beyond vital in sustaining your relationship. Never let anyone else out do you when it comes to complimenting and giving to your boo, bae, spouse, or partner. Keep it spicy, and lastly, never stop learning about the person you’r with because they to are constantly evolving. What they loved a year ago they could hate today.
I hope this inspired you and encouraged you. I hope it has caused you to think about somethings. Until next time…
Be Unique. Be Bold. Be You, Unapologetically,
The lovely and talented Robyn can be reaches at: